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Choose the Topic you would like Al to Address: Choose a Topic Below... Love Sex Pregnancy Loneliness Priorities Too Busy Insecurity Material things Rejection Anger Forgiveness Suicide a Sin Witness God's Will Ministry Satanism Security Death Salvation? I feel suicidal Bad Language Drugs/Alcohol Addiction Gossiping and/or Lying Guilt Trust Smoking or Dipping? Abortion Occult Suffering My parents hate me Rebelling Obedience Sharing Jesus with Parents Divorce Question 1. How do I know if I am really in love? Good question! There is an emotion that can feel as strong as love (because it involves your hormones!), but it isn't love -- it's infatuation. What is infatuation anyway? What's the difference between infatuation and real love? • Infatuation is an emotion. Real love is deeper than just emotion. Emotions can't always be trusted. They will change as circumstances around you change. (For example, when you're sick, tired, stressed, fearful, etc.) Love is a commitment to the other person, whether the emotions are there or not. It is a type of devotion that will continue when the emotions aren't there. • Infatuation is love at first sight -- fireworks! -- bells! You can be infatuated with someone you have never met, like a movie star, or someone you notice at school. Real love takes time. It's a growing experience based on shared interests, beliefs, and attitudes. • Infatuation may lead to love over time, but it is not love. Infatuation only takes. Love gives. Infatuation wants to know "What is in this for me?" Love says, "What can I do for you? How can I help make you a success? How can I meet your needs?" • Infatuation is insecure. Infatuation gets jealous and unreasonable. Love doesn't. Infatuation fades with time, separation, or change. Love won't. You've heard it said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, that is only true with real love. Being apart will kill infatuation over time, because it must take to survive. When someone else comes along who has more to give, infatuation will switch its attention from an old flame to a new one. • Infatuation is fueled by passion and lust. Love runs on respect. David said he loved Kay and wanted to marry her when they graduated from college. Just before their senior year, Kay's face was scarred in an automobile accident. By Christmas, David broke off the engagement because he said he no longer loved Kay. What David felt wasn't real love that says, I love you unconditionally, no matter what. It was an infatuation that said, I cared because you were . . . pretty (or sexy, rich, popular, etc.). What is real love? God describes it for us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Compare your commitment to the real thing and see how you measure up. • Love is patient. When you really love someone, you accept them just as they are. Of course, you encourage them to grow, but you love and accept them unconditionally -- no strings attached. Real love allows you to be patient with weaknesses and flaws. • Love is kind. Love is positive and lifts people up, never pulls them down. Love sees the needs of others, and does what it can to meet those needs. It's never harshly critical. • Love is never jealous. Remember, love gives, it doesn't take. It wants to share time and attention with others. It allows the one you love the freedom to have other friends and interests apart from you. It's not possessive. • Love is never boastful. It centers on the other person and not on yourself. If it brags about anything it brags about the one you love. • Love is not proud. Love keeps you from being full of yourself and keeps you humble. You are proud of your partner and not of yourself for snagging him or her. You realize that person is a gift from God, and not somebody you have earned. • Love is not rude. Love respects others and shows them courtesy. It demands respect from other people toward the one you love. • Love doesn't demand its own way. Love thinks about others first. Real love accepts changes in circumstances and people. It produces a concern for the needs of others. • Love is not irritable or touchy. Love is not too sensitive; it doesn't take everything so personally. Real love doesn't wear its feelings on a sleeve. • Love does not hold grudges. Love is able to forgive; it doesn't dwell on past failures. In the Old Testament, a teen named Joseph was sold into slavery by his older brothers. He was taken to a foreign country never to see his home again. Many years later, Joseph became the ruler of that country. One day his brothers came to this country begging for help; they didn't know Joseph was in charge. He had a choice to make: forgive and help them, or hold a grudge and hurt them. What would you have done? Joseph said, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." (Genesis 50:20). Essentially he said, "I forgive you." • Love is not glad about injustice. Real love doesn't find pleasure in the pain or wickedness of other people. It doesn't enjoy finding fault in others. • Love is glad when truth wins out. Real love is based on truth and honesty. The Bible says perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18). Fear is what keeps us from being honest -- fear of what our friend will think of us, or fear of what if she knew the truth. Love tells the truth, even though it's not always pretty. • Love is loyal no matter what the cost. It will always be faithful and stand by the person loved, no matter what. • Love always believes. Love is willing to trust. When you really love someone, you'll believe in her, even when she cannot believe in herself. Again, because there is no fear in love, you trust that person. You're able to give yourself completely to the relationship. • Love always expects the best. It will always give a person the benefit of the doubt. Real love is positive, not negative. It looks for the best and finds it. • Love always stands its ground in defending the other person. Love is protective (without being jealous), and will continue to love even when it's not returned. Now this is the real thing. How do your feelings of love compare with what God says love is? If you love someone, you should see the evidence. Real love can grow and mature if it's really there. Infatuation can not produce the actions and attitudes of love. No matter how intense the feelings, it's not really love. Remember, the Bible says, God is love (1 John 4:8). To really know love and be able to love, you must know Him. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 JOHN 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.