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Choose the Topic you would like Al to Address: Choose a Topic Below... Love Sex Pregnancy Loneliness Priorities Too Busy Insecurity Material things Rejection Anger Forgiveness Suicide a Sin Witness God's Will Ministry Satanism Security Death Salvation? I feel suicidal Bad Language Drugs/Alcohol Addiction Gossiping and/or Lying Guilt Trust Smoking or Dipping? Abortion Occult Suffering My parents hate me Rebelling Obedience Sharing Jesus with Parents Divorce Question 23. How can I stop gossiping and/or lying? You need to first understand that these are serious sins that God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19). The damage done by lying or gossiping is immeasurable. A lady went to her pastor to ask forgiveness for gossiping about him. The pastor told her he would forgive her, but he wanted her to do something for him. He gave her a bag of feathers and asked her to go to the center to town and empty the bag into the wind-and then come back to see him the next day. She did as she was asked and came back to the pastor's office the next morning. The pastor then told this woman to do one more thing. "Go back to the center of town and pick up all the feathers you released," he said. "But pastor," she said, "that's impossible! The feathers have all blown away." "That's right", the pastor said, "and just like there is no way to find all those feathers, there is no way to take back your careless words about me." If gossip and lying are so destructive, then why do some people do it? • Lying becomes a way to protect ourselves. We feel if we tell the truth, people will not like us. It seems the only way to avoid that rejection is to deny what we have done. • Gossiping is a way to make ourselves look important. If we are "in the know" about everybody, it makes us feel superior. Sometimes, gossiping is a way to make ourselves look "good" by making others look bad. Cutting people down behind their backs make a gossiper feel bigger. • Lying is a way to avoid responsibility for our actions or the consequences of those actions. Whatever the reason, gossiping and lying can become bad habits that are hard to break. They are spiritual problems rooting in our insecurities. (See Question #7). The first step is to admit your gossip and lying to God. Ask him to show you the root problems in your life that compel you to do these things. Ask God to heal those areas and give you the strength to change. Take it one day at a time and thank God every time you control your tongue. PROVERBS 6:16-19 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs dissension among brothers.