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Question 3.
My girlfriend is pregnant... what should I do?

Making it right doesn't always mean to marry. Marriage can be the worst solution if the couple is young and immature. Making it right may mean honest confession of sin, repentance, breaking up, and seeking other options.

The first thing you must do is to tell both sets of parents immediately. What you have done privately is a family affair. Remember, a crisis can either bring out the best in a person or the worst, so be prepared. There must be a meeting with both families (and maybe a Christian counselor) to discuss your options. Here they are:

• Get married. Are you both old enough and mature enough to understand real love and commitment? How will you live? How will you support yourselves and this child? What will be your future?

• Keep the baby -- don't get married. Again, is the girl old enough and mature enough to accept the responsibility of raising a child, and putting it first in her life for the next 18+ years? Are her parents willing and able to help take on the emotional and financial responsibility? You must think of everyone involved.

• Have the baby and give it up for adoption. There are many Christian agencies that find loving, Christian families for babies like yours. These couples can offer your child everything that you cannot. Most girls who make this very difficult decision learn from their experiences and carry on with their lives. Some, however, are not able to cope with giving their baby up for adoption.

You may be wondering "What about abortion?"

For the Christian, abortion is not an option. God is the giver and taker of life, and no one has the right to play God. Psalms 139:113-16 says that God knows us and sees us before we are ever born. Each of us, before we are completely formed physically, is a living soul that is special to God.

Those who favor abortion talk about the "rights and freedom" of the mother -- when you get saved, you gave your rights to God and agreed to let Him be in charge. He says "you shall not commit murder," and that is what abortion is. Abortion is robbing your baby of its right to life. It's a cowardly way to cover up the embarrassment of an unwanted pregnancy. It is not a quick fix out of a problem -- it creates more problems. It may look like an easy way out now, but the emotional, spiritual, mental, and sometimes even physical scars will last a lifetime.

There is not one right answer for this difficult question. Each case is different. You will need wise, unbiased Biblical counsel. Talk to a pastor, youth minister, or adult you can trust. If you need help in taking the first step to tell your parents, ask that person to go with you. The most important thing to remember is God loves you and is here for you, no matter what you have done.

PSALM 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.