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Choose the Topic you would like Al to Address: Choose a Topic Below... Love Sex Pregnancy Loneliness Priorities Too Busy Insecurity Material things Rejection Anger Forgiveness Suicide a Sin Witness God's Will Ministry Satanism Security Death Salvation? I feel suicidal Bad Language Drugs/Alcohol Addiction Gossiping and/or Lying Guilt Trust Smoking or Dipping? Abortion Occult Suffering My parents hate me Rebelling Obedience Sharing Jesus with Parents Divorce Question 30. Why do I feel like my parents hate me? There are a number of reasons you could be feeling the way you do. First, if there's been a lot of conflict between you and your parents, and you know your attitude toward them has been wrong, you could be experiencing guilt. The guilt feelings you have could be causing you to assume some things that are not true. If you feel like you do not deserve your parents' love or don't understand how they could really love someone like you, then you may have wrongly assumed they do not love you at all. Second, if your parents currently have an unloving attitude toward you, it's not because they don't love you. Almost all parents love their children. The problem is not all parents know how to show their love. There may be some things at work in your parent's lives that are keeping them from expressing their love. Let's look at a few: • Unless your parents have allowed God to do a major work of healing in their lives, they are parenting you exactly the way their parents raised them. In other words, they are treating you the same way their parents treated them. If they grew up in a home where there was no affection or attention, no "I love you's," or no hugs, then that is "normal" to them. • If your parents are not Christians, or if they are Christians but not very strong in their faith, they may not understand forgiveness. It could be that you have hurt your parents in the past. Perhaps they were disappointed or embarrassed by something you did or said. Maybe they're angry because they feel rejected, unappreciated, taken advantage of, or that you do not respect them. • Not forgiving will rapidly turn to bitterness if you don't deal with it. Unless your parents know what scriptural forgiveness is and how to apply it to your relationship, it will keep them from being able to show their love for you. • Your parents also may not be showing love right now because of two other reasons. The first one is guilt. It could be that they are feeling like failures as parents. When we feel guilty, we can do one of two things--(1) admit we are guilty and change, or (2) get angry and defensive. Most people do the last thing. Second, your parents may be fearful for you. Perhaps they see some danger signals in your life. They realize that if these things do not change, you'll be headed for trouble. They get panicky, and that sometimes comes across as anger. Whatever the reason, there's a communication problem in your home. It's important that you and your parents begin to listen to each other. Choose a time when things are calm at home and ask your parents to talk about the issues in an unemotional way. Let them know you want a better relationship. If this does not work, talk to a Christian counselor that can help. Do not let this hurtful situation get worse.