Click on the letters below to read more about Character.

COURAGE
Most people mistakenly believe that courage means not feeling afraid, but that isn’t true. In fact, courage is just another way of being afraid. It’s not about how you feel, it’s about how you act. Everybody is afraid of something. The question is, what do you do when you are afraid?

Courage is simply getting the strength together to do what you know you should do in spite of your fear. Aristotle said, “We become brave by doing brave acts.” In other words, he meant that we may not feel very brave when we do something courageous, but by acting brave we become courageous.

One by one you must face your fears and do what you know you should do. As you do this over and over again, you’ll find that some of your fears have gone away. There is nothing courageous about doing stupid things just for thrills or to show off. A sign of maturity is when you understand the difference between things you fear but need to face, and those things you fear and need to avoid.

There are many different kinds of courage. One of the most impressive is courage to go against the crowd and take a stand, even if you have to stand alone. The ability to stand alone for what is right is one of the truest signs of maturity. When a person stands alone he is saying to the world that he has something worth standing for.

Thursday, December 1, 1955 was a day like any other workday in Montgomery, Alabama. Rosa, tired after a hard day at work sewing and ironing shirts, boarded the green and white bus that would take her home. Soon the bus was full and she felt lucky to have gotten one of the last seats. At the next stop a white man got on board and stood at the front of the bus. When the bus driver noticed that a white person was standing, he called out to the four black people who were sitting just behind the white section to give up their seats. No one stood up until the driver threatened them. Three black men got up and went to stand at the back of the bus. But Rosa Parks didn’t move. She had been in this situation before and was tired of being pushed around. The driver shouted at Rosa to move to the back of the bus. She told him she was not going to move. He got off the bus and came back with a police officer who placed her under arrest.

Mrs. Parks was taken to the police station, where she was booked and fingerprinted. She decided to courageously challenge her arrest in court and led the black community of Montgomery to organize a bus boycott as a sign of support. The people began to unite to show the city administration that they were tired of the insults of segregation. Together they changed Montgomery, Alabama all because of the courage of one little lady.

Courage is simply getting the strength together to do what you know you should do in spite of your fear.



HONESTY

A person of character will be totally honest in every situation. Another word for honesty is INTEGRITY. When I have integrity, my words and my deeds match up. I am who I am, no matter where I am or who I am with. Integrity will allow us to decide ahead of time what our answer will be, before the question is ever asked to know what our response will be regardless of the circumstances or the people involved.

A person with integrity is authentic. They are real with nothing to hide and nothing to fear. Honesty, integrity are not so much what we do as who we are. And who we are determines what we do. Socrates said, “The first key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be.” Character is the one thing you can’t hide. You can try, but eventually true character, what and who you really are comes out.

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for things I have done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of person I really am.
-Edger Guest

All of us face situations every day that demand we make decisions about what is right and what is wrong. Our values will determine who we are and what our responses will be.

Life is always going to put the squeeze on us. At those moments of pressure, whatever is inside is going to come out.

There was a young Jewish boy who grew up in Germany many years ago. The boy had a deep admiration for his father, who saw to it that the life of their family revolved around the religious practices of their faith. The father led them to the synagogue faithfully.

In his teen years, however, the boy’s family was forced to move to another town in Germany. This town had no synagogue, only a Lutheran church. The life of the community revolved around the Lutheran church, all the best people belonged to it. Suddenly the father announced to the family that they were all going to abandon their Jewish traditions and join the Lutheran church. When the shocked family asked why, the father explained that it would be good for his business. The young boy was hurt and confused. His deep disappointment in his father soon gave way to anger and an intense bitterness that followed him throughout his life.

Later he left Germany and went to England to study. Each day found him at the British Museum formulating his ideas and composing a book. In that book he introduced a whole new world view and conceived a movement that was designed to change the world. He committed the people who followed him to deny the existence of God and founded the Communist Party. His name was Karl Marx. The twentieth century was significantly, horribly affected because one father compromised his integrity.

Honesty and integrity is not a given in everyone’s life. It is a choice you must make every day.



ATTITUDE

Our attitudes are our most important assets. It is highly unlikely that a person with a bad attitude can be consistently successful. Your attitudes do not determine how you feel, but they do determine how you handle your feelings. Everyone has times when they feel bad about something. Your attitude cannot stop your feelings, but they can keep your feelings from stopping you.

Chuck Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a person. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the past. Nor can we change the fact that people will act in a certain way. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. We are in charge of our attitudes.”

We are responsible for our own attitudes. One of the greatest days in a person’s life is when they quit blaming others for their problems and take total responsibility for their own attitudes. That’s the day we grow up.

It’s not what happens to me that matters but what happens in me. A happy person is not a person with a great set of circumstances, but rather a person with a great set of attitudes. Many times people who have bad things happen to them become bitter and angry. They blame those negative experiences for ruining their lives. What they don’t realize is that it wasn’t what happened to them that ruined their life, it was their response to what happened that did it to them.

People with character are people with positive attitudes, not whiners, complainers or blamers.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us,
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
- Walt Emerson



RESPECT

Respect means to honor, value and appreciate. When you have character you will have respect for yourself, other people and the rights of others. It means that you would never intentionally do anything to harm yourself, someone else, or violate the rights of another.

A person of character is secure enough to accept himself and accept others who may be different. It is understanding that we have all been created as unique and different individuals for a reason, and that differences are good not bad. Your uniqueness and the uniqueness of everyone on this planet is a gift. Instead of avoiding or looking down on those who are not like us, we need to value and appreciate that we are all different for a reason.

A person with character will also respect authority. From the time you are born until the time you die there will always be authority figures in your life; your parents, your teachers, your boss at work, the police, the government. That sounds like a bummer, but the truth is....without authorities our lives, our homes, our communities and our world would be in chaos. It may seem like all those in authority over you are good for is to make your life miserable. In reality, authority figures are put there to provide for you and protect you. Even if the person in authority over you has not earned your respect personally, if you have character you will show respect for their position if not for the person. Respect is not as much what we do or don’t do, as the attitude we have. Remember, you can be obedient and still not show respect.

In 1923, a very important meeting was held at the Edgewater Beach Hotel in Chicago. Attending this meeting were nine of the richest men in the world; Charles Schwab, Samuel Insull, Howard Hopson, Arthur Cotton, Richard Whitney, Albert Fall, Jesse Livermore, Leon Fraser and Ivar Krueger.

Twenty-five years later, Charles Schwab died in bankruptcy; Samuel Insull died while running from the law; Howard Hopson was insane; Arthur Cotton had died penniless; Richard Whitney had spent time in prison; Albert Fall had been pardoned so he could die at home; Jesse Livermore, Leon Fraser and Ivar Krueger had all committed suicide. All of these men knew much about how to make a living, but none knew how to live!

A person of character respects, values and appreciates the things that really matter in life.



ABILITIES

We all were born with certain abilities and talents. We have a responsibility to develop each one of these to the fullest. A person of character will live up to their potential.

There was an eleven year-old boy in Philadelphia named Trevor Ferrell who understood what it meant to live up to his potential. One day he was watching a news program on television about the homeless people who were living on the streets of his city. He couldn’t believe that what he had seen on TV was true, so he asked his parents to take him downtown that very night. As Trevor witnessed the horrible conditions of those people on that cold, winter evening, he took his own blanket and pillow and gave them to a man huddled in the freezing weather.

At only eleven years of age, Trevor Ferrell began a mission called “Trevor’s Army.” With the help of his family, community and even national support, he began to provide food, clothing and shelter for those who had no home. Trevor said, “I may be only one person, but I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something.”

His story has been told by every major newspaper and magazine and he has been on every major television network in the country. He received the John Roger Integrity Award, which was the same award given to Mother Teresa. Trevor was also recognized at the White House. He is someone who understands what it means to live up to his potential.

A person of character will also have a commitment to something larger than himself. A commitment to excellence in every area of their life.



COMPASSION

In the novel, To Kill A Mockingbird, a daughter was given some valuable advice. “If you can learn a simple trick, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

A person of character cares about the pain and suffering of others. He is willing to look past himself and see the needs of other people. True compassion is less about emotion than it is about action. You don’t just feel bad because someone is sad, you do something. It is showing you care by doing something.

Many, many people today are lonely. Because of divorce, abandonment, or broken homes many students have been so hurt that they have withdrawn and avoid any relationships that may end in pain. Experts tell us that in America we have a crisis of “personal isolationism among teenagers.”

* One in three students have thought seriously about suicide and one in six will attempt suicide.
* Other teenagers are turning to gangs and lives of violence to meet needs they have for security, a sense of purpose and belonging, and to fill the emptiness in their lives created by loneliness.


The medical consequences of loneliness are troubling.

* Lonely people seem to be more prone to serious illness.
* Social statistics show the relationship between living alone and increased mortality; increased number of suicides, heart attacks, cancer and depression, just to mention a few.
* It has even been found that unmarried people visit the doctor more often and stay in the hospital longer than married people.

Showing compassion is not just a sign of character, it is a mark of growing up.

A compassionate person will also be one who understands the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not easy. When we have been hurt we naturally want justice. We want the person who has hurt us to be punished. The problem is that unforgiveness chains us to the past and becomes like a poison that eventually makes us physically, spiritually and emotionally sick. When we choose to forgive the person who has hurt us, it keeps the poison out of our system and frees us to move past the offense and get on with our lives.

Forgiveness is not excusing or forgetting what happened. It is not a feeling. It is a choice we make with our will to give up our right to get even, and not hold on to anger or hurt.

A person of compassion is always ready to forgive because they realize that they too, at some point, will need the forgiveness of another.



TRUST

A person of character is one you can trust and depend upon. Someone who understands that there are only two things that really matter in life.

1. COMMITMENT. Commitment to another person says, “I want you to be the best that you can possibly be. How can I help you do that? No matter what I’ll be there for you. I am committed to our relationship. A person of character accepts people the way they are, but cares about them too much to let them stay there.

2. TRANSPARENCY. This is a willingness to be ourselves. Not to wear a mask or play games. It means we are willing to share our opinions, our concerns, our dreams, our thoughts, our fears and our feelings.

3. SENSITIVITY. Sensitivity means you not only hear words, but also the tone of voice, the silences and the sighs. You are able to notice unhappiness or hurt and ask, “What does this person need that I can give?”

4. COMMUNICATION. This is reaching out and touching another person with words that bring two people together, never tear them apart. Even when there are problems or misunderstandings in a relationship, positive communication can take place if you determine that the relationship is more important than being right. Anger has no place in communication. Healthy relationships happen when you respect the opinions and judgements of the other person, even if you don’t agree.

5. INVESTMENT. A person of character will go into a relationship with the attitude, “What can I give this person, not what can I take from this person.” Is the one you have a relationship with a better or worse person because you are a part of their life? What sort of contribution are you making to that person? Are you making investments of yourself, your time and your encouragement in your relationship?

The second thing that really matters in this life is your reputation. When it comes right down to it, that’s all you’ve got. Who do the people in your world know you to be? One of the realities of life is.....if you cannot trust a person at all points, you cannot truly trust him at any point. Don’t give anyone a reason to distrust you. Begin this habit while you are young, and maintain it when you are old. Be 100% totally honest in everything with everyone. Develop a reputation that is above question. A damaged reputation can be restored, but people will always look to where the crack was.

It takes a long time to build trusting relationships and a trustworthy reputation, and only one wrong choice to destroy them.



ENDURANCE

A person of character will “keep on, keeping on” no matter what. Someone who does not quit when the going gets tough, but hangs in there until the job is done. Ty Cobb was one of the greatest baseball players that ever lived and certainly the greatest slugger of all times. His batting average was .367. One out of very three times he stood at the plate, he got a hit. But two out of every three times, he struck out. And he was the best!

Life isn’t just about winning. Much of life is about losing. We try and fail, and try and fail until we finally succeed. Endurance is highly underrated. We see famous people who have “made it” and we think they are successful because they are smart or talented or just lucky. We don’t see all the times they failed or were rejected.

Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, the phonograph and many other things we use everyday. We don’t realize that he also had a lot of ideas that didn’t work. One time when he had failed again after many attempts to make a storage battery, Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found a thousand ways that don’t work.”

Talent and skill can take you a long way in this world, but endurance can take you further. Those who learn not to quit, not to give up and stick to the task usually end up doing very well in life. Of course there are no guarantees, but even if you don’t get the prize you’re after, you’ll be a better, stronger person. Endurance is what keeps you on the right road.

A great life isn’t a destination, but a journey. It is the process of trying and failing, and learning from our mistakes and failures.



RESPONSIBILITY

A person of character realizes that responsibility is the willingness to accept the consequences of his own actions. Responsibility means accepting a task, doing it to the best of your ability, and then standing by what you have done. It means living up to your commitments to friends, family, community, and country. People who are responsible don’t leave their work for someone else to do or make excuses or blame others.

Accepting responsibility and working hard with a good attitude really do make life richer and more enjoyable. School and work can either be a good experience or a bad one, depending on the attitude we bring to it. Many people try to avoid responsibility and hard work because they think that somehow life would be better without it. The truth is that life without work would be boring and meaningless. All of us have to do some work that is unpleasant at one time or the other, so when those times come, the best thing to do is just buckle down and do it. Running from responsibility and jobs you don’t like will never help you become what you want to be.

Every right we have implies a responsibility. Too many people are ready to assert their rights but not assume their responsibilities. For example, in this country you have a right to an education. The responsibility to take advantage of that right is up to you. You must attend class and pay attention, and yes, even study and do your homework. No one else can do it for you. The older you get, the more you realize that your rights don’t mean much if you ignore your responsibility. Responsibilities are a part of who you are. Trying to avoid them will not make life any easier. It will just make you less a person of character.

Has anyone ever said to you, “These are the best years of your life?” The truth is that in many ways your teenage years will be the most difficult years of your life. Have you ever noticed that it always seems to be an adult (with a short memory) who thinks being a teenager is so great? The reason a lot of adults feel that way is because they are trapped in bad situations, living out the wrong choices that they made when they were young, wishing they could go back in time and do things differently. They know that teenagers, for the most part, still have the opportunity to make wise choices now, so they won’t have to live with regret later.

You are not a victim of society, of your social circumstances, of your environment. Regardless of your past, where you live, who your parents are, what you have or don’t have, you can decide what kind of life you want for yourself and how you are going to live.

Do you remember the story of Pinocchio? It was a fairy tale about a little wooden boy whose nose grew every time he told a lie. What if your nose grew every time you told a lie? Or your tongue grew every time you gossip? We would all be in big trouble. But in one way it would be better if we were all like Pinocchio.

Sometimes because we don’t see the immediate consequences of our decisions, we think there are no consequences at all. We do something wrong, make a bad choice and because nothing happens right away, we think we have gotten away with it. We develop a mind set that says, “I must be an exception. There is a flaw in the system. I can have my cake and eat it too.”

What we fail to see is the element of time. Suppose a 14 year old boy starts to smoke and everyone says, “you dope, bad choice, you’ll get cancer and die.” So, after smoking for a month the boy goes to the doctor and has a chest x-ray. The x-ray shows that his lungs are clear and there is no cancer. The boys says, “see, I told you I wouldn’t get cancer!” And we would say, “you’re still stupid, give it time.”

Or, suppose you want to get in shape so you join a gym and go everyday for a week. You look in the mirror after working out for seven days and say, “I don’t look any different, I quit!” We would say, “Don’t give up, getting in shape takes more than just a week. Give it time.”

A farmer would never plant his seeds on Monday and expect a crop to be growing up by Tuesday. He knows that it takes time for what he puts in the ground to show on the surface. The same is true of our lives. Everything you put into your life, every decision you make, will show up at some point down the road.

You may have already made some wrong decisions in your life and are feeling hopeless about the future. There is good news! The same process that worked against you when you made wrong choices will work for you, if you will begin making right choices.


Remember:

•Wrong choices take you....
• further down the road than you want to walk
• keep you longer than you want to stay and
• cost you more than you want to pay.


One day an Indian brave found an eagle’s egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle thinking he was a prairie chicken, did what the prairie chickens did. He scratched in the dirt of seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. And he flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that’s how prairie chickens were suppose to fly.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day, he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. “What a beautiful bird!” he said to his neighbor. “What is it?” “That is an eagle-the chief of birds,” the neighbor clucked. “But don’t give it a second thought. You could never be like him.”

So the eagle died thinking he was a prairie chicken. The eagle spent his life looking up at the eagles and longing to join them among the clouds. But it never once occurred to him to lift his wings and try to fly himself. Growing up among prairie chickens, the eagle began to think he was a prairie chicken, so he began to act like a prairie chicken. How sad that he never realized that he didn’t have to be like everybody else, that he had the ability to be different. You too can soar above the crowd.

The decisions you make today will determine what is on the other side of tomorrow for you.